With Love, Cindy
by PamFanJN
Summary: Jimmy does not have the courage admit he has feelings for Cindy. But when he realizes she's about to move out of town, he doesn't know what to do. Cindy has a lot of thing want to talk to him about. Oneshot.


**This is my first Oneshot, I hope you all like it. It's narrated by Jimmy Neutron. I'm not a genius, but I try to interpret it.** **Enjoy.**

* * *

With Love, Cindy.

The most inconvenience of entering adolescence is the excess of hairs in the body, pimples by the whole face, the affliction of not being the weirdo of the class and as always, the frustration of understanding the girls. They're confusing, and even though I'm researching, for hours, the females are unpredictable.

After completing fourteen years, my hormones began to explode wildly. And even spending a lot of time in my lab, many rules were Applied For when I was in the house.

Door always open. If I'm to take some girl home with supervision only.

Really, parents are ridiculous. I mean, I'm only fourteen, and I'm not the kind of boy that usually goes out. In fact, I never go anywhere. The "talk", as they call it, terror and humiliation were extreme. I already knew all that, but hearing my father explain about the primitive action to copulate, I wanted to die. Really.

My dad bought adult magazines and gave it to me as a gift. I really wish he'd stop helping me. Because it is not helping in anything but embarrassment.

What changed, really, was my vision of Cindy Vortex. After years with a rivalry, insults, pranks, making me crazy. She's always tried to be better than me, which I find ridiculous. I've always been a genius, everyone knows this with ease, but before their notice my big head.

It was easier as a child, Sheen, Carl and I we felt nasty girls, we did not care for anything. Now, I'm caring about my future. Playing violent games for hours, devoting my time to improving my software every time, and constantly dream of girls. Many dreams, I wake up and have to take a cold shower. I can not resist it, after all, I'm a human. Every genius is also a man, and as a man, I have my instincts. It's science. It's biological.

It's scary to think that a few years I'll be going to college. Work. Married. Damn. That's really freaking me out. And all that makes me into someone else, old Jimmy would never care what anybody talked about him. My ego started getting trampled by popular kids who could fit into the school. That part is complicatedOf, for I am considered the Nerd and the one who causes catastrophes in Retroville.

All of a sudden, Vortex Show up in class and sit next to me, as usual. She was beautiful, her body developed very fast. A lot of boys ask her out, which is a horror. Your eyes track mine, I'm caught in the act paying too much attention to her. Her golden hairs beat the waist, long and wavy, even Making a face serious, your green eyes always have a glow that suggests you're about to smile.

She went on to have an unusual, disturbing beauty. A kid and a girl can be friends, but when they get to a point, they're going to fall in love. Maybe temporarily, maybe for a long time, maybe too late, or maybe forever. I love her smile, I love her hair, I love the way she wraps the golden thread around her fingers when she's nervous or too focused on something. I love the sound of her laughing, I like the way she makes me feel.

We've been through so many adventures together. We still argue regularly. We're friends. A mix of friends who fight and consider themselves rivals. Strange? I tease her more than usual, sometimes to see her, to listen to her, all so she can give me more attention. It's very pathetic and weird. I'm a real jerk, even though I'm a genius.

Cindy is smart, beautiful, has a yummy smell, bright eyes, a warm smile. Every time I'm down, I feel bad, she comes and comforts me.

I can't say I hate her, because I've never hated her. I thought she was annoying, that's all. But people change, I was wrong. I've changed, just like my friends, and the girl I'm madly addicted to observing.

– What is it, King Cranium? Did you lose something on my face? - She grumbled, frowning and pouting like a child. I sighed and was silent, which sparked his anger. – You'd better stop it or I'll punch you!

Maybe I always liked her? But since we were kids, we've always been very competitive. Now, that we are at another age, and as we have spent so much time together, in many moments my concept has changed. I hope she's changed, too, like me.

I gave a smug smile. – I was seeing how you forgot To go to the bathroom, Vortex. There's something between the teeth.

She stared wide-eyed, taking a small mirror in the case, looking for something that was not there. I laughed out loud and the teacher entered the room.

The next week, I knew that Cindy Vortex I was seeing someone. A boy taller than me, new to school, was on the football team, was good at sports, lousy at class exams. I'd say she was with him by the looks of it, because I just don't understand! She always refused the boys who fell at her feet, and that was the only one she agreed to leave.

After that, I've been ignoring Cindy, or any argument she tried to rip from me. Jealous? That must be the feeling. The days passed, a month, every time Farther away from each other. Libby and Cindy did not sit next to us in the cafeteria, the group of five we formed was broken.

When she broke up with that boy, I was never so happy. But she looked very sad, needing support. And I went to talk to her, even though I was too long away from each other. It seemed like nothing had changed between us, she cried at my side. And I held her hand, very firm and strong, wanting to never let go again.

But everything changed suddenly. And the day had begun, and I had woken up in my bed, with thought impregnated in my mind. A lot of things have changed, I've changed, mostly.

On the way to school, I went walking to have more time to think. I wanted to escape from this town, I caused a lot of trouble. Carl and Sheen found me at the entrance to the school, I really wasn't next to them when they were talking about some new TV series, or about going to buy new games at some store. I was too far away, mentally.

I sat in the same wallet, where I had always sat before, nothing had changed. I do. I kept saying everything was going to be okay, because I was in a teenager phase. I'm a teenager, even though I'm a genius, what I'm feeling is called temporary, my thoughts, they would change over time. That feeling, the emptiness, that doesn't fit in here. It's new and hateful.

…

– Is everything all right? – Cindy asked, stroking the head of Goddard, who barked and licked his face. She had knocked on my lab door, catching me off guard, but I let her in. I needed some time to myself, to hide from the rest of the world.

As I did not answer and turned my attention to the computer screen, she kept talking. – I've been thinking, I saw a story where NASA claims that there is life similar to Earth, so it crossed my mind that they would never get there and confirm. Imagine a civilization just like ours? Wouldn't it be fun to go with our friends?

Give Me the coordinates. – I spoke casually.

She sat beside me, pulling a "sacred" chair Sheen wore stop store your action figures. Thinking about it makes me laugh. She speaks everything quietly, her whisper bringing me shivers. I stared at her for a moment and saw her wrapping a blond strand between her fingers. The faint golden light highlighted Cindy's loose strands cascading down her back.

Cindy Vortex It's beautiful, really, very pretty, and this one thinking has alerted me at this last moment. She leaned against me with her thin blouse, her warm, soft arms rubbing on my arm. I noticed the curve of his clavicle, the extent of pale and smooth skin underneath. Her tight Jeans short reveals her toned legs. She's athletic and have a breathtaking body. I drink every detail, your soothing breath at the touch of my forearm. I watch her so much that I'm inches from her red face, she closes her eyes, and I walk away. I turn my face back to the screen, ignoring the sudden excitement that consumed me.

I made sure to find that planet that she had spoken, and I had already researched him. In fact, there was a sign of life. A threatening and dangerous life, with forms three to four meters high, what was similar to us, humans, were the faces and the coloring of the skin, love of TV and wars.

I keep thinking about the first few minutes of a war. Blood. Death. Screams. Shots. Bodies burned. Blood. Intestines. It helped me eliminate my erection.

I e-mailed NASA talking about not getting in touch with the planet, or we'd be overrun.

I look at it again, forcing a smile. Cindy seemed extremely irritated. Crossing your arms, snorting. I'm an imbecile. – I don't think we should go there.

– What did you find out?

– I've done a survey on the planet, 50 light years from Earth, with signs of similar appearance. They They live in houses, they fight like primitive animals, and they love TV on weekends.

– What a bore. I wanted to go on some adventure.

– Adventure? What we've always done is draw danger to the city.

–Are you talking about what you always do?

– I'm guilty. – Smile. – But it's good to stop for a while.

– What's the problem? You always loved exploring with your friends, and for a long time that we will not together. I miss this. - She admitted, with a sad smile. - It seems that I do not know you anymore ...

– You may not know.

– Will you tell Me? You know we're friends. – She looked at Goddard and avoided my gaze.

– Yes... We're friends. But not even friends talk to each other. You didn't tell me when you decided to date that dumb boy.

– So this is it? – She rose angrily, rolling her eyes. - I should do what? Wait for you to decide and talk to me?

My heart started a race. I stood up and stared at her, amazed. – I decide? What the hell are you talking about?

– You stopped talking to me, you completely ignored me. I ceased to exist for you when a boy asked me out and I accepted, after a long time, after dispensing many boys, finally I had gone out with one, but I was not happy. I'm tired of waiting for you, Jimmy.

I wanted to hit something. That boy, any kid, hugging her, touching her, kissing Cindy. It mutilated me inside, but I could not speak what I felt for her. I do not want to admit it. I clench my teeth and try to catch my breath.

– I got tired... – Cindy whispered again, biting her lip. – And your stupid pride still won't let you say anything, after all these years, you're still the same, Neutron. You keep ignoring the You feel. You play with me, with my feelings.

She screamed, running away from me, leaving me alone. I was fed up with everything. A hand-blown blow, a deafening explosion, a ray of pain coursing through the arm before I realized I punched an invention with all my might. There goes my new prototype rocket. Pieces of paint were unfastened from the print left by the wrist. Bent in two, grip the right hand with the left, closing the mouth to not emit any sound. I go blind for a few moments by the pain, pulsating, I'm terrified. She was tired of expecting something from me.

What is really eating me alive, the pain in my hand or in my head. I fought against it, because, the two of us would never work out. I know. We only have fights, and in the end, we would both end up hurting. If that happened, we could never really be friends again. And I cannot imagine my life without Cindy. Cindy. Cindy.

I cannot fight this feeling. I close my eyes, feeling the pain curl up around my spine and crawl into my brain.

 **...**

Cindy was going to move for other city. And the funniest thing is, I know at the last minute. I knew the same day she was fucking leaving. I was very angry, red, letting my negative feelings guide me. I felt stabbed in the back, all students in our class knew at the very moment that, the director came to say goodbye to the student. Cindy was surprised, apparently, she also did not know the director was going to say goodbye to her.

Libby knew. I heard it in class. I haven't moved, an inch. Cindy looked at me, but I didn't take the look out of my notebook. I didn't say anything the rest of the class, I left when I heard she wanted to talk to me.

I don't want to see her. We were going to fight because I was extremely nervous. I stay in my lab the rest of the afternoon, Sheen and Carl looked for me, but I ignored them. My mother asked me to dinner, my stomach snored, so I decided to leave my lab, even though I hated every second of it.

How could she not tell me that?

I understand that I hurt her, but this, leaving at the last minute. You broke my fucking heart. I blame myself. I blame Cindy. I blame your parents who are moving. I blame fate. I blame everything.

– Jimmy. Cindy whispers my name, with a voice full of guilt. I look at her, no reaction. She was very red, her timid eyes, bit her lower lip, was holding a package packed with brown paper, which I thought was odd. -I came here... to say goodbye... I...

I felt a shiver run through my body. I did not know if it was the cool breeze or if it was because she was close to me.

Without thinking of anything, I wrap your waist and press my lips against hers. She was confused and troubled at first, but then everything disappeared and my tongue went into her mouth, she returned the kiss, with great will. Fucking. Kissing is good. I held her, clinging to me afraid she would go away, and angry. The Kiss became furious, and she seemed angry too, angry with me, for she passed her tongue over my lower lip and bit her. She could have taken blood that I wouldn't care. She touches my body. I touch her body. I separated from her, with my eyes closed, swallowed dry, opening my eyes and looking. She also had the same expression; Anger. But also, fear.

Cindy filled me in. I felt whole. There was no doubt about it.

– I'm sorry I haven't told you... I didn't have the guts.

– You should have told me. – I moved away from her, who kept her face frozen. – I'm very, very... You have no idea!

– I do, I know! I didn't want to change city, but it happened, Jimmy, because of my mother's work. But I'm sure that soon I...

– You what? Are you coming back?

– Yes. It's temporary... I'm sure of it.

I Clenched his teeth and stepped forward. – For me, you could disintegrate right now.

Cindy crosses her arms. – I know I was stupid, but please...

\- Please? You fight with me, as if I had made a sick game to give you hope for a dating? Did I say something? I never said anything!

But I felt it. I wanted to.

She's perplexed. – I was angry because you were going to kiss me, and you retreated. You always show signs that you like me, but you don't talk. You don't want to. You don't want me... I'm not good enough for you?

\- You wanted a kiss, won the fucking kiss. – I raise my arms in disbelief. – Now, hours after I know you're moving away." What got me off guard, do you think it's okay? Go away, Cindy. And do not need to go back, I do not want to know.

– Liar. – His eyes were red. She sighed, lifting the brown package for me. – I cut out and pasted, I had written a lot of things I never had the courage to say... I made for you to remember me.

– I don't want to. – I shook my head. – How long have you known you were moving?

She tries to say something, but I slap her hand knocking over the package.

– Answer me!

I scream real loud, making Cindy cringe. She covers her ears and closes her eyes. His eyes began to cry, red, green. They're sad.

– It's been a month. My aunt will live in this House...

– Since we fought... – I talked, trying to calm down. – Or rather, you fought with me.

She was indignant. I didn't know what I was talking about. Anger overwhelmed me. Cindy's leaving. She didn't tell me. Cindy's Moving out. She didn't tell me.

– I was just tired, you idiot.

I heard Cindy's parents calling her name. – I don't have any more time... Jimmy, please...-she extends her hand to me, and smiles. I promise I will...

– Bye, Cindy. Your parents are waiting for you. You don't have to say goodbye to me, because I don't want to hear anything from you.

I was surprised by my cold, remorseless tone. She gets frozen, then pushes me on the ground using all her strength, and runs in the opposite direction. She should have gotten into her parents ' car. But she ran away. I looked at my feet, and for the bundle that was in her hand. I picked him up, went in the house and put him anywhere, but I didn't give a big deal. My mother spoke to me, my father spoke to me, I did not hear anything, because I was numb. I was so angry, but the anger was kept so long, it exploded on Cindy. I made her cry. She pushed me, I deserved a kick in the... She deserved more from me.

And I couldn't, and I won't have a chance to make it up to you.

Cindy's parents appeared on television in tears, crying and screaming. I was not to understand, but the butterfly effect I had provoked, was the biggest accident that Retroville testified. A truck exploded. Bodies on fire, coming into combustion. When I heard your name, I threw up. I spent hours lying in my room, not eating or taking a bath. I refused to go to school. I spent five days, languishing and dying alone.

I was the emptiness. I went through everything from my childhood, seeing that my life was made up of ugly moments. I should have taken your hand. I should have asked her out. I should have kissed her more often. I should say I loved her more than anything. But I didn't. I was supposed to do so many things, but I missed the chance, I lost a piece of my life. Cindy, Cindy, Cindy. I kept repeating your name in my head, punishing me.

I've ruined Cindy's family life, I've caused an irreparable disaster. Hurts. Make the pain go away. I'm sensing all the weight of the world squeezing my heart. Life is empty, love is empty. I'm guilty. Oh, I'm so sorry. I feel the pain hogging me. Invading my pores, my veins, my memories, my feelings. Everything is black. Nothing has color.

 _Cindy._

* * *

 **Memorial Cemetery Of Retroville**

The sun reflected in my glasses, the sun struck people, the sun haunted Cindy's coffin, sending me waves of pain. I am blind impaired. I looked firmly, letting the light burned my corneas, hoping that the tears came. I should cry. But nothing comes out.

The rest of the humans around me were crying. People with which Cindy had never talked, people who she did not like, or had ever seen. Everyone from our school was present, feeling the loss of Cindy.

The day was black, white and Gray, a vine, rainy day. The wind howled, blew, whipped in the back of my neck.

My parents were giving their condolences to all who came near them, so I was distant. I went away. Silhouettes of black against the colorless sky is impassive. I wanted to escape, wanted to lock me in the bedroom, I hated everything. My mother touched my shoulder when she realized I was curled up under a tree, hugging me. I was comforted by her, not many days ago, but I did not feel I deserved some kind of consolation. I did not die. It was Cindy.

 _Cindy. Cindy. Cindy._

The green leaves of the trees were no longer green; Like your piercing eyes. The sun was no longer that bright golden; Like your soft, beautiful hair. I would never see her again, that defiant face, her contagious laughter, daily provocations, adventures on her side.

– Are you feeling all right, honey? – She asked, her eyes Doing a little research on my face. My mother was smart, I admit. She knows when I'm okay, or I'm not okay. But she never saw me destroyed.

I saw your wrinkle on your forehead increase, taking me out of my thoughts again. I smiled, forced. – Am I feeling... morbid? I think. I don't like being in a graveyard.

My mother held my wrist and made me get up, the priest asked us to bow our heads and pray. I I didn't pray, but I kept my head down.

It was uncomfortable, the tall grass, the black ravens.

Has it been millennia? I felt every second on my skin, Cindy's coffin was closed. I'd never see your face again. Never. People were leaving quickly. Many classmates talked to Libby, who cried incessantly. Libby was her best friend, and she's crying, I've never seen her cry. And Sheen was supporting her. I haven't been to school in a few days, I've refused to leave my room since the accident happened. We left the heavy atmosphere of the funeral, I spied black birds flying above my head, they gathered and decided that their new home would be a dry, leafless, twisted tree. It was sinister. Everything was black. Everything was without color, everything had no meaning. A empty casket.

Cindy's mother, Sasha, he wanted to bury his daughter, even though there was nothing left of her to be buried. A senseless funeral.

I could have stopped her... I could have.

* * *

I find that package, but I was too afraid to open it and finally admit that Cindy would never meet me at school again. I'd have to face the truth. It took me a few weeks, it took me a long time to miss you, but nothing comes out of me. Am I a monster?

One night, I had the courage to tear the brown paper, it looked old. I saw Cindy's present. The pink and white pages, some were aged, other yellowish, or white and beautiful. Cindy's handwriting is pretty. I play, thinking she could hold my hands.

I thought about changing the time, which never ends in a good result. I could try something, but it would have consequences. Is it worth the risk for a single life? The only life I care? I am selfish. I wanted to have a strand of her hair, to clone her just to hear her voice again. But she would not be Cindy, the clone would be something else with her face. It was not her. Never would she.

I don't want to read it. I don't want to overcome it. I don't want to read it.

But I read. The first words are new, and I read, imagining the sweet voice numbing my ears. I miss your voice so much.

 _Dear Jimmy Neutron..._

 _It has not been hours since you last saw me in class, but it seems a thousand years since I learned to breathe again._

 _You're the definition of confusion. Nedtron, Spewtron, King Cranium..._

 _Jimmy, before you moved to Retroville, I was considered the smartest person in my old school class, a position I used to have, I loved it. I studied, applied to everything I did, all under pressure from my parents. You rocked my world when moved to the other side of the street._

 _You were my rival. I criticized his mistakes, I was competitive all the time. I'm still competitive, I'm still being pressured by my parents. But when I quit I had incredible adventures with you, which was the best thing that could have happened. Many times I humbled you, and yet you invited me to your fantastic adventures._

I smiled. _Cindy…_

 _Neutron, you're a genius. I never admitted it, you're the smartest._

 _What I hate is when you look at other girls. I was on your side, and you liked Betty Quinlan! You kissed April, and in that instant, I writhed inside. You're a real blind man. But I could never hate you, you idiot. Head. Short._

 _Jimmy... we grew up, and we're not kids anymore. I always hoped you'd ask me out, but Our relationship Kept The Same. Pretend that nothing had happened between us. That hurt me a lot. Don't blame yourself, it was my fault, too, because I put it all aside. I didn't know what to do._

 _Before it was just you, Sheen and Carl. You've opened a space in your group of friends for me and Libby, it's changed us. That was fun. It was amazing. It was dangerous. It was sad. It was emotions. Emotions. Feelings that are stored inside my heart._

 _I never hated you, Jimmy. I fought with you to have him in my life. For me to have your attention ..._

 _Telling you the truth is really weird, isn't it? I was very rude, boring, unbearable. I know I've hurt you for my actions, but I want to remind you that when you felt bad, I was there for you, I would console you for decades just to see you smile. So we could continue to fight. I love our fights, it's part of who we are. I also love being your friend, it's a part of me._

 _Jimmy..._

 _When I had time to get to know you better, I saw something far beyond what I thought. You're more naïve in some matters, it's Very much Bad in sports, Incredibly bad. I'm laughing Now. You cause a lot of problems, even your brain giving an incredible gift for inventing impossible devices. Did not hear the phrase, "With great powers comes great responsibilities?"_

 _Jimmy, your super-power is your mind. Many times you failed, but your courage and determination saved us all, also compensates All The damage._

 _I thought you were very short, but when I hugged you for the first time I saw that it was not so small, and you emitted hot flashes to me. I like the feel of your embrace. I feel I could understand you, I could hear your heart beating as hard as mine. These only moments of I always keep…_

 _You're arrogant, Irritating, insecure, stubborn... Friendly, intelligent, helpful, adventurous, silly. I like the sound of your voice..._

 _Remember when the Yokians They kidnapped our parents, we had a moment when we saw the universe? You smiled at me, but then you turned your face... When you cried in the prison cell, I was heartbroken. I consoled you._

 _Remember when your intelligence was removed and you called me cute? I guess you didn't think coherently. I was shocked to hear you say that about me. But I liked it._

 _Remember your robot brother claiming you like me? I found it very funny, at that moment I felt a cold in my belly._

 _At your first party I saw you dancing with Betty, that was bizarre._

 _I helped the Yolkians That time, something I regret. You deserved more than that, the way they treated you. You were there for us, Jimmy. We'll never forget that._

 _There was a moment when one of your crazy inventions erased me and just I disappeared. I blinked and I fell into his arms. You smiled at me, but you dropped me on the floor. You are an idiot._

 _I banished you from the science fair, but I missed you. I would never beat you, Nerdtron._

 _On so many adventures, we almost kissed. Almost. Almost. I hate the word almost._

 _You know that pearl you gave me? I keep it inside the oyster, and I always look at night. Thank you for the gift. It's beautiful._

 _I've distracted you many times, but you decided to ignore me. You were an idiot. But in the end, you admitted. Thanks. I was just trying to get you to notice me!_

 _Has many more moments, but I don't have to say anything else, do I?_

 _I don't know when I'm going to see you again, it scares me. But I'm sure I'll come back. I will go. I will return to Retroville. Don't get mad, because it's so much to say that I'd would stutter or crying._

 _Do you think our adventures were memorable?_

Yes! Yes… Nobody Will never have Adventures like ours. I'm glad you were present in all of them.

 _Did you really hate me, Jimmy?_

 _Never._ Never. – I murmur. I can hear your voice questioning me. I wanted to answer them. – I want her to know I never hated her. Never.

 _You're going to miss me?..._

I'm getting a lot of pain. You are as vital to me as oxygen, Cindy. It hurts... that, I want it to stop. I want it to be a nightmare.

 _I'm going to miss you every second of the day._

 _For as long as I'm gone, will you promise to make the class people remember me? Don't forget to include Libby in your adventures. Tell Carl and Sheen that I consider them friends, their crazy way. Remember me. Do not get any rivals other than me, okay?_

– You're the best rival a genius like me could have. You're irreplaceable.

 _Don't think about destroying the city before I come back. Don't hurt me again. Say what you want, Jimmy, tell me... Because all of this... because it's all you._

 _Jimmy. I love to say your name..._

 _I love being your friend. I love being your rival._

 _Jimmy... **I love you.**_

 _I've always loved you._

Something comes out of me, a hiccup. I squint so hard it hurts. I've had a lot of trouble. But reality touched me and I started to cry. Cindy would never see me again, because she's dead. I cry, I cry, I cry.

 _I'm sorry for All the terrible pranks, I'm sorry Because I'm always so competitive I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I've made many mistakes, many._

 _Jimmy, I love it when you look at me. You think I'm smart, pretty. I loved your words. I love you for so many reasons, it's something I just feel, and since I was eleven, you've become my heart. Who says kids don't know what love is? I knew it, since I knew it was you. I accept who I was. I accept my choices, and I hope you accept it. Accept yourself, Jimmy. Accept everything you've done, move on. Just look at the future._

 _Jimmy, thanks for everything. I'll see you soon._

 _With Love, Cindy._

I should thank you. You deserved much more. I am selfish. You are selfish. You're everything to

me.

Cindy... I accept Who I am and what I've done.

Goodbye.

 **The End.**

* * *

 **So, you like it? I confess I cried a little, I'm a girl who cries watching dog movies. I like to write drama, tragedy, romance, fiction. Understand me, I love Jimmy and Cindy. That's just a Fanfic. I would never wish them harm. What do you think? Review, if you can. I was wondering if you liked it.**

 **Follow Me on social networks. Just research and you'll find me. See you next time.**


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